


Let Myself Love You

by cabbageboy



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabbageboy/pseuds/cabbageboy
Summary: “Have I ever told you the reason I like this so much?” Adora asked, while Catra faced her.“I thought it was because of the view?” Catra replied, a little confused.“Yeah, the view,” Adora said, a blush coming over her face.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 135
Collections: "I'll never be afraid of heights (again)"





	Let Myself Love You

**Author's Note:**

> For the weekly prompt in the LIMAMIL discord server! 
> 
> This weeks prompt: “I’ll never be afraid of heights (again)”

“Catra come on!” Adora giggles, pulling Catra by the hand across the parking lot. It’s a muggy summer night, the sun sinking behind the trees leaving the sky streaked violet and pink, dotted with cotton candy clouds. It’s humid, the height of summer, and they are both already sticky with a light sheen of sweat even though they haven’t been here long. It’s a perfect summer night for a date, especially to the carnival. From the parking lot they could hear the sound of metal whirring through air from some of the bigger rides, the delighted (and some terrified) screams of the other patrons, and the jingles coming from the game booths. This is their tenth year in a row attending the carnival that is posted up in the county fair grounds. They’d gone sporadically throughout their childhoods together but when they were both sixteen was the first year of their ten year tradition. 

Adora wore dark denim shorts, her red and white high top sneakers collecting a layer of dry dirt as they stepped onto the grass. She wore a thin grey hoodie that she had cut the sleeves off of the last time she got a little too rowdy at a party with Glimmer, scooping down her sides enough to show off her muscled torso and her black sports bra. She wore her hair in a ponytail, showing off the undercut she now sported. Catra was obsessed with the entire outfit, with everything about Adora really. She loved how toned her legs were, the bulge of muscle in her arms. She loved running her fingers through the long tresses on top of her head and then scratching lightly at the bristly buzzed hairs on the sides and back. Catra never thought Adora could get any more stunning, any more breathtaking, any more sexy than she already was. However, Catra was proven wrong when, 4 days before the carnival, her girlfriend had walked into their apartment with her new haircut, grinning like she had when they were still in middle school and she climbed a tree in the courtyard without getting caught. Catra saw the haircut and was speechless, but they didn’t really have much talking to do that night anyway.

As they step into line to buy wristbands for rides, Adora looks down at the hand tightly engulfed in her own before trailing her eyes up the woman’s bicep, rounding her shoulder, across her collar bone, and to the necklace Adora had given her for their anniversary. Catra wore maroon denim shorts, a black t-shirt that used to belong to Adora before Catra turned it into a crop top, and the black high top sneakers that Adora had gotten her for her birthday (so they could match obviously). Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail with her loose bangs swooping down to frame her face. Adora loved those strands because it allowed her to reach out and touch Catra’s face, with the excuse of brushing her bangs out of her eyes. 

Adora smiled, recalling their lunch date earlier today where she had presented Catra with her gift and Catra, with tears in her eyes, had asked Adora to help her put it on. It was simple, but suited Catra perfectly. A thin gold chain wrapped close to the base of her neck in a choker style. When they finally left the restaurant from their lunch date, Catra made them both twenty minutes late returning to work, distracting Adora with kisses before she could even start the car. The look she gave Adora when she dropped Catra off at her office was so worth the brow raises of her coworkers when she finally sauntered back into her own office. She wasn’t in any actual trouble, since she had finished all of her real paperwork for the day. Besides, working for a company your friends own can lead to a pretty casual work environment.

Catra wasn’t in any trouble either, judging by the way her boss’s eyes went glassy when she took in the new jewelry around her neck and the blush on her cheeks. Of course her boss was also her best friend so it wasn’t hard for her to be more excited than irritated when Catra came back from her romantic anniversary lunch date with jewelry. It really was obnoxious how obsessed everyone was with them, not that it wasn’t totally understandable. They were definitely the cutest couple Catra had ever seen. 

Looking down at their connected hands again, Adora rotated their wrists gently so she could look at the silver bracelet Catra had given her at dinner tonight. That was their deal, they would alternate who got to plan their anniversary dinner and the other planned lunch. The arrangement made the whole day feel special, allowing both of them the opportunity to plan something nice for the other. 

“Just so we’re clear, you know I am not going on any rides that operate above my height, right?” Catra’s voice broke her from her thoughts.

“Baby, you say that every year. You know we’re going on the ferris wheel,” Adora teased, squeezing the hand in hers and tugging her closer. 

“Ugh yeah and every year I hate it. You know I hate heights,” Catra whined, unable to stop the smile spreading across her face. She wasn’t afraid of heights, not really. That had been the excuse she always used when they were younger to try to get out of it. The truth was that Catra really loved the look on Adora’s face when they were up there. It made it worth it, to see the lights from the city in the distance reflecting back in Adora’s eyes while her smile split her face, growing so wide Catra was sometimes worried it might get stuck like that. It made Catra’s heart stutter in her chest, it always had. Every year they came here, even before they were dating. When they were just friends back in high school, that one, three minute ferris wheel ride a year was how Catra always knew that she wasn’t over Adora. She could pretend the rest of the year that she didn’t have feelings for her best friend, that she was getting over her, but as soon as they got to the top of the ride every summer and Adora looked like that, and then turned that same mesmerized look at her with her brows turning up with that tender look on her face, Catra came crashing down and realized how much she still felt for her. 

She didn’t have to worry about that anymore. She’s won, in the end. She’d overcome every obstacle her mother had put in her way, worked through every lifelong issue she had left her with, and finally gotten the courage to tell her best friend that she had always had feelings for her, that she had always loved her. She would never forget how lucky she was, and every year on their anniversary, the anniversary of the day Catra had confessed to her, crying in the parking lot in front of all of their friends in the most embarrassing display of emotion she had ever experienced, they came back to where it felt like it started. The carnival was in town for the same three weeks every summer, and their anniversary always fell during its run. 

They got through the line quickly. Being a work night, not a lot of parents could bring their kids so it luckily wasn’t too busy. After putting on their wrist bands they made their way around, strolling through the grounds and looking at all of the different booths. They played games, Adora winning Catra a cute tabby cat keychain, while Catra had just walked over to a vendor and bought Adora a funnel cake. They rode a few rides here and there, played games, ate their weight in sugary carnival desserts, and occasionally got caught making out behind a tree or two on the edge of the fair. The night passed in a peaceful lull, not too hectic, but still with plenty of laughs and loving glances. They always had fun, but sometimes the present was replaced by memories. 

“You remember that night ten years ago? When this really started?” Adora murmured in Catra’s ear. Catra was sitting in her lap at a table, both of them sipping on lemonade.

“Of course I do,” Catra spun around to face her, putting her arms around Adora’s neck, “I thought your mom was going to kill us for how late we got home.”

“Well, she should have known we wouldn’t be home by 8. Its a carnival!” Adora laughed. 

“Remember how much funnel cake Kyle ate? And how much he threw up after going on the Zipper?” Catra laughed.

“Ugh poor guy. I swear he was sick for hours after that!” Adora laughed back. 

“You know, I still remember how beautiful you looked,” Catra leaned her head down to whisper it into Adora’s ear. 

A blush spread over Adora’s cheeks. She knew exactly how much of their friendship was consumed by attraction, on both of their parts. She would never get used to Catra talking about how beautiful she thought she was, how much she loved her, and how much she admired her. Catra had made it her job a long time ago to reassure Adora of how wonderful of a person she was.

“I never told you this, I don’t think, but I knew. That first time. You had those cute combat boots and those skinny jeans with way too many holes in them. It was impressive how well you hid how hot and miserable you were. I still look back and can’t help how hot I thought you looked,” Adora whispered, stroking Catra’s thigh with one hand. Her other hand came up to stroke the nape of Catra’s neck.

Catra gave a shaky breath, “I love you. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for staying.”

“Always,” Adora choked out, a tear forming in her eye while she kissed Catra sweetly on the forehead.

“Promise?” Catra asked, looking up and nudging her head against Adora’s, face to face now.

“I promise,” Adora said, kissing her lips.  
After that, they seemed to break out of their serious moods but remained closer than before. Instead of holding hands through the crowd they walked with Adora’s arm over Catra’s shoulder, with the shorter woman’s arm looped around her waist. They enjoyed a few more games and another snack before looking at the clock on Adora’s phone and then at each other.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you do, its kind of time?” Adora asked, referring to her favorite part of the fair.

“Let's do it,” Catra dragged her to the ferris wheel line.

Once they were on the ride, going in lazy circles, Adora looked at Catra.

“Have I ever told you the reason I like this so much?” Adora asked, while Catra faced her.

“I thought it was because of the view?” Catra replied, a little confused.

“Yeah, the view,” Adora said, a blush coming over her face again while she looked Catra up and down. Catra just raised her eyes and waited for Adora to continue. 

“I knew. I kind of always did. I always felt differently about you than anyone else. When I dated that girl in high school she asked me if I ever saw myself getting married. I said no at the time, but that was a lie. I just couldn’t see myself getting married to anyone besides you, and because I couldn’t have you, I just didn’t want it. I’ve loved you for so long that I can’t even remember what it feels like not to love you, Catra. You’re everything to me, all I’ve ever wanted. I am so glad we didn’t let anyone tear us apart, that we ended up together. It was you and me, was always supposed to be you and me. People tried to take us away from each other but we fought, hard, to have what we do. I am so, so happy that I get to be with you. When we would ride the ferris wheel all of those years before we were dating, it was my one time a year I would let myself feel. I would let myself, for that one ride, that one day a year, feel what it would be like if we were together. I let myself feel how happy you made me, have always made me. I let myself feel love for you, so far beyond what I thought I would ever get back, deserved to get back. You’re my everything, you always have been, and that one ferris wheel ride, in the air above the rest of the world, I let myself love you,”

“That’s why I always wanted to ride it, why I always wanted to ride it with you, why I nearly vomited at the idea of riding it with Bow that one time you said no and he offered instead. That was my constant. Every year, in the exact same place, for the exact same amount of time, I got to love you,” Adora had tears streaming down her face, and Catra was sobbing quietly back. The ride was stopping to let people off now, and they were nearing the top.

Adora reached to pull something out of her pocket and Catra’s hands flew to cover her mouth in a gasp followed by a sob. Adora smiled at her, that same look Catra always remembered from their one ferris wheel ride every year, the look she finally understood after years of repressing her feelings and got her head out of her ass. That was the look of Adora, openly and unabashedly loving her.

“Baby, will you let me love you for the rest of my life? Will you let me show you? Will you marry me?” Adora said, her voice more firm and strong than it had been the entire ride.

“Yes. Gods, yes. Fuck,” Catra sobbed out, lunging forward to crash her mouth to Adora’s. Adora let out a watery laugh, bringing the hand that wasn’t holding the ring up to cup the side of Catra’s face while Catra used one hand to tangle in Adora’s hair and the other to grip her shirt. They kissed and held each other like that until they heard a throat clear and pulled apart, realizing that they were stopped at the bottom and it was their turn to get off of the ride. Adora got up first, holding her hand out for Catra to take. When Catra took it, Adora slipped the ring onto her finger and kissed her knuckles, getting loud cheers from the remaining patrons in line.

“You know what?” Catra mumbled into the kiss, breaking away.

“What?” Adora gasped, trying to regain her breath.

“I think... I’ll never be afraid of heights again.”


End file.
